Escapee

Such a pity I couldn't go running because my stomach is hurting so much. 

It would have helped me, yes, it would have helped a lot right now..when everything seems to be falling apart. 

Just another useless existence. 

Burdensome 

How do I fade out of such existence? 

I just want to not live. And be less of a burden to everyone. 

Why is it that those pair of folds seems more appealing than others? 

And did I mention, the glitter in those almonds being so captivating 

Welp, I have got the writer's block and can't seem to write anything now.

Sweet December!

Overwhelmed. And I still have time to read books and write. Okay, to be fair, it is only a book but it is still a struggle.

And writing is my only other therapy, so... I have been working at it for several days already.  But it is not finished yet.. Well, it will be the last post, hopefully, for the year so I think I will take more time doing that..

Haha, in the end, of course, it will only be for me to know the content but nonetheless, it is still comforting to write out. And maybe who knows, 20 years later, I will be looking upon the writing, trying to grasp the mind of an 18 years old me. And probably laughing. But I should give the 38 years old me more clues, haha.

Tomorrow will be long. But of course, it is all in the mind.
Why am I so scared of people, who knows. That reminds me of TCP camp again. Oh, boy.

On the bright side, today is Sweet December and I am not normally here, spending my December but school..Usually, or for the last 2 years at least, I am snuggled in my sweater and long pants, waiting with my family for the clock to stuck twelve and then go around shouting Sweet December when it did. Ah well, guess there is always a next time...2 years later maybe.

Sweet December!

Drastic

As I lay, awake on bed, I try to think of whatever that could direct my thoughts away from that.. 

Would you understand? Would you care? 

What if I told you, that it's about a ... 

Never mind that, but it is like how Elaine felt  

Or maybe still feels, as she floats away like a dream. 

A dream she was or just 

A flash it was, to Sir Lancelot 

But don't tell me it wasn't real 

Something closer to home 

Might be that I forgot 

(And not unintentionally so!) to place a period behind my last sentence 

And I start to think of my name more often, how nice to have been graced by you 

Sir Lancelot knew her, Lady of Shalott 

I'm no lady but at least you know my name 

God in his mercy probably wouldn't lend me grace, with a fair and lovely face 

But at least there is no full stop to your last sentences and in my imaginations I relish