I am not saying you do not have the right to say what you just said to me - but those words, did you think before uttering them? Did it go through your mind that perhaps I do have my fair share of concerns too? For this dysfunctional unit that you have created and claimed to keep it together.

Yeah, you created it.
You did not have to, you know?
What gives you the right to choose what you have chosen?

And I live for myself? Did you just assume that? Did you assume that I enjoy what I do, what I am doing right now? Did you think I chose what I want to do because I enjoy it, because I want to fulfill my dreams, because ultimately, I love myself and hence, I live for myself? Didn't you assume all that? And on what basis?

Why do you even assume that I want to live?

Don't I know the burden you are carrying - the burden you chose to carry - don't I care? You grouped me under 'those who doesn't care about what [you] do' for them but did you even think about what they - I - do and feel?

Did you think about it when you left?

In the end, does it make you feel good - you doing what you claimed you love to do but throwing your emotional burden on the ones who love you? Does it make you feel good? Does it make you feel good that you are helping people at the expense of hurting those who care about you most?

You said you are doing what you love - then why do you have so much dissatisfaction with our situation - the one you brought us into?

Have I ever blamed you for it? I have always been behind you. I have always been supportive. Even when she wasn't, I have always stood by you.

You said that you have been doing it for us for your whole life - really? And what have I been doing? Whatever I have done since I became aware of life, who do you think I have been doing it for? And you can say, I don't care?

Like daggers. Do you know that? Like knives. Because you and them - those are all I live for,,for my whole life and you could utter that accusation.

You wore and left me to stitch back the tears you caused but I am willing and have been doing so - and did you think I was happy doing it? Why build a unit if you are going to destroy it and left me to keep everything together?

I made no complaints because I know the burden on you and I tried my best not to add any more to that pile. But you wouldn't know, do you? Whatever I do, it is not enough for you. I guess you are too busy with the burdens in your own shoes to care about wearing others.

I am not enjoying what I do, I am not doing this because I enjoy it. I made choices based on what would be best for you - and them. My whole life - I have never stopped considering. My purpose. So I am not enjoying what I do, I am not doing it for myself, but I am content because I thought it would be worth it.. I really hate what I am doing, to be honest.

love myself too much huh? for that opportunity

Wow I am grateful but wow I am also tired.

And live for myself?

I don't even have the will to live.