severed

In the end, it was you.
your conscious decision
like a doctor, like a gardener
I felt it when I first saw you too
and even when you said, 'hey listen,..
we're going to be best..' and I played it in my head over and over
now- it's almost funny how time, and you, made a mockery
of me and played ever so delicately with each string
and found a useless shell of a tool
threw it back to the sea with no company in its own misery
each call, each message, each meal, all the memories they sting
-smile at me and say I am a fool

X came last summer, unexpected and left this summer
as expected amidst my fears
X called and said 'hey, I haven't talked to you in so long'
we spoke and never did again
X used to tell me about everything that was a bummer
couldn't be bothered now; someone please tell me it is not worth my tears
X made me feel like I belong
now on a clear day, I am a drop of rain

//
Am I glad it was earlier so the pain would be greater? but wow does it hurt when you sat there as I stood facing the back of your white tee.
finis