What would you do, in such a position, as I am right now, where everything you have believed in, at least about you, everything you were confident about, came crumbling to the ground?
You may think, 'I have sinned, greatly, against the one who created me.'
I, too, have sinned. And for that sin, He will punish me. He had punished me, through you.
I have always had faith, that it will be as I dreamt, you and me, and the future. So I loved you as I have, body, heart and soul, and in so doing, lost a part of myself. To think, I had not known it until you discarded it, and I began to miss what was me. That missing, I cannot function.
Every morning, I will relive that day, I relive that thought. I imagine the worst. I imagine the truth. And every morning, it grips my whole being with dread, it wrings my heart with pain, and it tortures me with regret.
Regret? Perhaps, that was mine to have. Not for what you did, but for what I did.
What you did, you bear your guilt alone. I cannot partake in what I am not guilty of.
Doubts set in - Have you ever live your whole life in doubt? I have not, and now I see how unsettling, how torturous it is to do so. Doubts,,, do I even know who you are anymore? I think not.
I think of our past, our beautiful past. Our colourful memories. That time in which I have so much hope and dreams. I think of it, and again, it brings me pain. What is left of it, is grey, and ugly.
There is nothing to be done now.
I must pick myself up and go on my way;
and if you should be sincere, you'd still be behind me.
Because He will fight for me, and I will hold my peace.
